How to Handle a Fearful Dog – Should You Soothe, Encourage, or Support?
Jumping from a cliff, straight into the dark water can be terrifying for someone with a fear of heights. It takes time to overcome and process a fear. Perhaps one succeeds because they have someone with them for support.
How to support your dog without nagging and expectations
When it's time to face a fear, it can be comforting to have someone with you. Someone who stands by you, encourages you to dare, and celebrates with you when it's over and done with. The inner journey towards the decision must be made by oneself. If the person next to you incessantly urging, "come on now!" "it'll feel so good when it's done!" "just do it!" the inner process is disrupted.
Why candy coins are not always the right way
What if the person tempted you to take the leap to earn a bag of your favorite candy? Would it help? Or would it elicit something from you that hasn't been fully processed? Most likely. What if the person even shoved a piece of candy into your mouth just as you were about to overcome the challenge?! That would be incredibly disruptive. No, the journey must be taken by the person carrying the fear, especially that first step. Someone offering support can certainly be helpful, even crucial at times. Someone who supports with their secure presence, not pep talks or bribes.
A better approach with rescued dogs
Many dogs encounter luring, coaxing, and bribes that hinder more than help when negative emotions arise. Dogs may come to disslike treats and chews for that reason alone. Nothing should make dogs disslike sausages, especially not us. But it can happen, in the best case. In the worst case, the fear becomes even scarier, and the problem grows.
Instead, we need to let our dogs confront their emotional life. In secure environments with the scary stuff at a distance. From there, they can dare to experience everything that's going on. From there, they should get to see that we, as their dog parents, stand secure and confident, helpfull and supportive.
Dogs need to become aware of the emotions surging without the situation worsening or being trivialized. Without the big black dog coming closer or a meatball being stuffed into their mouth. Just being in the situation, at a safe distance, with us as a stable support. Only then can emotions be reevaluated. Only then can emotional counterconditioning occur. It's not the entire solution, it's the start of a journey.
Written by: Caroline Alupo
Caroline Alupo is Petli's co-founder. She has a master's degree in ethology and is also a trained dog trainer and dog psychologist. She has 19 years of experience as a professional dog trainer. Read more about Caroline here.
Your personal dog trainer on your mobile
Petli is the app where you can train your dog in a fun format, get personalized coaching from dog experts, meet like-minded people in a warm community and exclusive discounts on great products.
