Not All Dogs Want to Play – Causes and Solutions
She closes the gate to the dog park behind her, unleashes Max, and says, "Go have fun!" However, the prospect of fun is not always guaranteed. While there are moments of smooth playtime, more often than not, Buddy's approach to play tends to dampen the fun.
Some dogs don't want to play, while others play at the expense of their companions. They can be too intense, chasing without allowing themselves to be chased, pinning others down without letting anyone up again. These dogs scare away their playmates and can cause conflicts. Then there are dogs that simply don't want to play. They prefer to saunter past a party and turn away if someone calls out to them. So, how do we teach these dogs to play? Should we even try?
Why dogs behave differently in play
It's important to understand the reasons behind each dog's attitude. The policing dog often has a need for control, the brusque one may be frustrated, and the uninterested one may be insecure or disinterest. Knowing the underlying cause of discomfort (for the dog) can provide insight into the actions that will help.To clarify, let's meet the dogs: Max (unsocialized and timid), Charlie (uncertain after a fight), Buddy (redirects herding instincts), and Molly (protective of her body).
Reserved but fearful Max
During Max's first year, he lived in a rural area but was later rehomed to an owner in the city. In the countryside, he sporadically saw dogs from a distance but never interacted with them off-leash. Instead, he played with his human. As a result, four-legged creatures feel unfamiliar to him, and he prefers to keep his distance. Larger dogs are particularly intimidating, while smaller ones are easier to escape from if they become too eager. When Max came to his new dog parent, they visited dog parks in the hopes of resolving his insecurity. However, Max despised it when dogs ran around him and barked loudly. People would say, "He'll get used to it," but Max never did. Instead, he became reactive in a proactive manner. He intimidates his playmates into stillness, preventing them from playing with him or each other. Max craves order because when everyone is on their best behavior, it feels safer, but still not good.
Brooding Charlie
Labrador Charlie used to enjoy playing, but after reaching sexual maturity, he got into a fight with the wrong male over what he thought was the right female. He intended to growl at the other dog when he sniffed the Spaniel girl's hindquarters, but suddenly he found himself on the ground, with a larger dog biting and snapping at him. Since then, Charlie has lost interest in playing, even with his human. His dog parent, on the other hand, enjoys going to the dog training club and ending training sessions with off-leash play in the field near by. But whenever someone tries to engage in play, Charlie looks like a brooding Eeyore. He walks low to the ground, heading to the edge of the field and casting long glances toward the car. He just wants to go home. ㅤ
Energetic Buddy
Border Collie Buddy loves other dogs! When he spots one, he barks and yodels with enthusiasm. He pulls towards the dog park, barely allowing his human to unclip the leash. Then, like a black billiard ball, he zooms into the pack, aiming to round everyone up faster than the wind. If someone leaves the group, he positions himself perfectly to bring them back in. Buddy comes from a working line, but he's currently unemployed. "Play" is his way of channeling his instinctual drive.
Molly's pain
Setter Molly used to enjoy playing when she was young, bringing laughter to both two-legged and four-legged friends. However, the fun gradually faded away. She began taking wide detours around waving friends, casually walking away with a watchful eye over her shoulder when someone invited her to play. If they approached her, she would growl; if they ran towards her, she would lunge, teeth chattering like a sewing machine on full throttle, and her lips curling high toward the bridge of her nose. Some turned away, while others got angry. At first, her owner was angry too, until she realized that Molly was in pain.
The right playmates can make a difference
Now to individualized measures.
Max
Max needs to start from scratch—socializing, observing dogs from a distance, learning canine body language, and feeling secure without physical interaction. It would be beneficial for Max to participate in a training class where dogs gets space but can still engage in enjoyable activities together. You can read more about how to socialize your dog properly. After some time, Max's human should find a couple of friendly pals of Max's size to go on parallel walks with, without allowing them to sniff each other. Later, in a neutral setting (not at dog parks), they can interact off-leash in pairs. Max should be praised when he calmly observes with a relaxed posture and a happily wagging tail. With time, a larger, well-behaved dog can be introduced to the group, but first, Max should observe how the others interact so that he can see that even the bigger dog is responsive. ㅤ
Charlie
Charlie needs more than what an article can offer. The incident has deeply affected him, and his well-being has been compromised. He is no longer as engaged in activities he used to enjoy. He needs the help of a dog psychologist and trauma processing before he will want to play. The pressure to play must be removed. Dogs experiencing mental health issues can lose their desire to play. They need assistance with their inner selves before play becomes a priority. However, play can also be a path to recovery. An introverted dog with passive stress management may benefit from rediscovering their play drive. To awaken the playfulness in a safe environment, you can try using a toy with hidden treats. Open it and give treats when the dog takes a few steps after the toy. Avoid pressure, goals, and expectations as they suppress the desire to play. Instead, be present, happy, play by yourself, and exude positive energy. Be creative and curious about what makes the dog grin. Before expecting Charlie to play with other dogs, he and his human companion need to rediscover their own playfulness. After that, an empathetic dog can show Charlie companionship without wrestling or chasing games. Just sitting on a dock and watching the splash of fish might be enough. It may take time for Charlie to feel comfortable playing again, perhaps in the future, with a trusted Spaniel girl.
Buddy
Buddy needs a job! A substitute may help, but most likely, he needs to engage in herding livestock. When his needs are regularly fulfilled, he might be able to play without it becoming an outlet for an unsatisfied instinct. He will need training in passivity and impulse control around other dogs, as well as learning how to pass by without greeting. Afterward, healthy relationships can develop. He will probably always enjoy roughhousing with friends who have mischievous glints in their eyes and quick paws, but having a calming influence in the group would be beneficial for Buddy. He might not be suitable for unsupervised play. He may need guidance from his human, a brake signal, and a calm embrace if he risks reverting to old habits. High-energy Ferrari dogs may require this.
Molly
Molly, whose pain has affected her desire to play, should be kept away from other dogs entirely. She needs a veterinarian's help. If her pain can be relieved, she may eventually enjoy the company of language-savvy, attentive dogs. Even if her body is no longer in pain, her mind may still recall the fears. You can read more about dogs and pain here.
The right playmates can make a difference
If you have a dog that doesn't want to play due to underlying issues, it could be that the potential playmates simply don't appeal to her/him. Personal chemistry also exists between dogs. Some dogs play best with their own breed, based on play style, humor, and speed. What tickles your dog's fancy in play can be a clue to what might ignite his/her play interest with you. Does your dog find socializing or playing hard? Read the rights of antisocial dogs. Provide a variety of play options, be creative, and let loose. Dogs love that.
Is playfulness your problem or the dog's?
It's also essential to reflect on whether the issue is more significant for you than your dog. Perhaps you're more playful and social than your canine companion. Don't force your furry friend into interactions she/he is uncomfortable with. That alone can be reason enough for a dog to feel uncertain and behave accordingly. Play should brighten their day, nothing else.
Written by: Caroline Alupo
Caroline Alupo is Petli's co-founder. She has a master's degree in ethology and is also a trained dog trainer and dog psychologist. She has 19 years of experience as a professional dog trainer. Read more about Caroline here.
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